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| I'm amazed at seeing God's mercy. My mother-in-law got in a horrific accident two days ago. While she was on the freeway, a recklessly-fast car cut her off, and if she wouldn't have jerked the wheel, he would've hit her. So that's what she did, causing her to spin (on the freeway!), and then car behind her smashed into her. I saw pictures of the wreckage today; it was devastating to look at. Her car's front end was crushed in (as if she was in a head-on collision). Her airbags were deployed. The windshield was cracked. It was jaw-dropping to see how bad it was.
What is most amazing is that despite this horrific circumstance, she escaped only with a little whiplash, a bruise, and a seat belt 'burn' on her neck. That's it. That's after an incident in which she spun out on the freeway, going along with all the other cars at 70mph. The car could've flipped. Or she could've spun for .5 seconds more, and the driver side would've been the impact zone. Or the collision could've occurred 15 minutes later, after she picked up her 5-year-old grandson. Her life might have been altered for the worse forever. She may have had to spend the rest of her days in a wheelchair -- or much, much worse. She might not have made it.
But God has given her a 2nd chance at life. God spared her, and it's nothing short of a miracle. He really watched out for her and preserved her life. That's who God is. His love and mercy are endless, and I'm so grateful to Him for watching out for her on that day, and for continually watching over each and every one of us all the time. | | |
| We've changed our name! It's something we've been wanting to do for quite some time, and now it's official! Ever since we got married, it's been on our minds. Should Mary Ann take on my last name and 'become' Chinese (and lose her Vietnamese-ness)? Should I take on hers and 'become' Vietnamese? Should we share a hyphenated last name? How can our surname retain our identities and be inclusive of us both? We decided to choose an inclusive last name because we want mutual representation. In other words, we didn't want either of us to lose the surname and identity that we've had for our entire lives.
We realized, also, that changing one's last name is simply cultural, and not necessarily Biblical. In America, many women change their last name to their husband's. Some hyphenate. Some never change it. And it's all perfectly acceptable. Even in the Bible, there was a man who took on his wife's family name and identity (Nehemiah 7:63). So we knew we had options.
In our marriage, there is mutual submission because we believe in Biblical equality (Eph 5:21). Each spouse has equal footing in all aspects of marriage. We have equal value and equal input in everything. When one of us sees a need, that one fills it. If dishes need to be washed and Mary Ann is tied up, I'll do them, and vice versa. (Most of the time, though, we do it together -- and we love it because we get to spend that time together.) The same goes for laundry, cooking, cleaning, shopping -- everything. We make all decisions together, big or small. If we're stuck at an impasse, we'll talk it through until we're at mutual agreement. I have no desire or need for veto power (which by the way, I think that "veto power" is a terrible idea if you want harmony in your relationship). Each of us has equal value and equal say. I am no better, smarter, privileged, or more valuable than she is, nor she than I. God made us equally in His image, and we are both intrinsically valued.
So because we are equals, when it came to deciding what to do about our last name, I had to humbly ask myself who was I to say that Mary Ann had to drop her last name and take mine? It's the same effect as asking of myself, would I be willing to drop my last name and take hers? That thought didn't sit well with me when I thought about it initially, because it made me realize how drastic of a change it is to lose your last name. The dilemma we faced was, whose name would be dropped? We eventually realized that there was a way to not have to drop either last name, but rather to include them both. We decided on a hyphenation of our last names (i.e. an inclusive name), with Mary Ann's surname first, because it has a nice ring to it. I like it. Not only does it represent both of our identities, but it also represents our new family -- a product of diversity and a blending of two cultures.
Some may think it unusual for a man to change his last name, but really, I'm not doing anything that God never approved of before -- it's in the Bible. And I'm happy to make that change. | | |
| Well a lot has happened since the last post. From baby being a tiny cashew, fast-forwarding 3 1/2 months, baby has grown by leaps and bounds. Mary Ann's tummy's been growing for the past couple of months, and it's neat seeing the progress. It's also cool tracking baby's growth -- now baby is 14 inches long and almost 2 pounds. Mary Ann also only has morning sickness now, as opposed to all-day sickness that plagued her the entire 1st trimester and on through the 2nd. Now we're enjoying the 2nd trimester and a slight return to normalcy. I like that we can cook and wash dishes together again.
Probably the thing I love most right now is baby's movements. Mary Ann's been feeling baby inside for a few weeks now. I LOVE it when she tells me "boomp" whenever she feels a nudge inside. I've secretly been jealous of her, but I'm glad she has at least a little pleasure, for all the pain and yuckiness she's had to put up with over the past 5-6 months. I've been so impatiently waiting for the time when baby gets big enough so I can see and feel baby with my hand. A few nights ago, Mary Ann said I should just try and see if I can feel baby. After a couple minutes of non-activity, I finally felt a tiny nudge on my hand.  "WOWWWWWWWWWWWWW," I exclaimed. I was easily the happiest dad in all the world -- I felt our baby for the first time ever!!! I don't think I'll ever get tired of that.
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Yesterday we went to the first doctor's visit. It was good to get some questions answered and get more info... but I think the thing we were most excited about was seeing if there really was a baby inside. I mean, all the signs are there -- positive pregnancy test a few weeks ago, and Mary Ann's nonstop nausea and exhaustion... but it was all conceptual, until we saw it with our own eyes. There in the black and white photo, our suspicions were put to rest. There was a baby bean, with umbilical cord, amniotic sac, and tiny pulsating heart. *gasp* Amazing, simply amazing. There really is a baby inside!
 
Baby's head is where the arrow is pointing, with curved body and toes to the left.
If you're reading this, please say a quick prayer for Mary Ann. She's been so nauseated these past several weeks, and it's really been rough on her. Thanks!
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| *beautifully written by my wife Mary Ann*
I came across the test as I passed by the the clearance area of Longs Drugs. How providential. We had been planning to take the test on Saturday, which was in a few days. So for $2.21, I could find out whether or not our whole lives were about to be changed completely. One line meant no, two lines meant yes.
I woke up early the morning of. I hadn't slept very well that whole night because I kept thinking about how we were going to take the test the next morning. As I brushed my teeth, Sam began to wake up slowly. Then when he suddenly remembered, "Oh, the test!" he jumped out of the bed with enthusiasm. Before we took the test, we prayed, relinquishing the outcome into God's hands, trusting that He knows what's best for us.
Then we followed the instructions - putting the tester flat on the counter and covering the little window with a piece of paper. One line meant negative, two lines meant positive. What if there was only one line? Though we had tried to not make much of it, the truth was that we had been waiting for 2 weeks. Two weeks is a long time to wait and wonder, and no matter how much we tried to talk ourselves out of hoping for a two-line outcome, we knew that a great disappointment would totally be inescapable if there was only one.
After three minutes, we went over to the counter. As we hovered over the tester, we kept saying, "There's only going to be one line," to convince ourselves and curb the forthcoming disappointment. Finally, Sam said, "Just do it!" and I removed the paper from the little window. There were two lines. I blinked. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Were there really two lines? I stared at it. Yes! There were two lines. We looked at each other with surprise and amazement. We're going to have a baby!
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